Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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