what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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