in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
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This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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