You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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