Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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