The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
