I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
