So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
