He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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