Whod you bang
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
