Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
