i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
