And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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