guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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