but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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