my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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