Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
