Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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