in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
