why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
