I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
