He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
