I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
