I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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