Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
