I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
only you would photoshop your dick
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
