Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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