Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
