What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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