Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
