And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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