Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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