are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
