I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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