No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
