You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
