playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
