I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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