i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
