I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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