you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
