Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
