"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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