You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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