i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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