you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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