i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Are we still banned from the library?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
