I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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