Already got asked if we're dating
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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