New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He felt like a one man threesome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
A bitchslap is in order.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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