What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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