I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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