he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize