ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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