forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
