Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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