Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
