Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
