They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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