Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
