i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize