Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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