Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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