this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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