I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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