he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
