I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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